Well this one is a bit more serious, a lot more serious. It is not spider related and a squirt of Raid can't fix it, so any helpful idea or suggestion would be appreciated.
Truman was an absolute terror at preschool today. Defiant, disrespectful, pushing his friends, and more. Now when I say that I adore my day-care, that is an understatement. They are fantastic, solid, loving, and helpful. I adore Lala & Zaida. They are my first line of help/defense and give wonderful advise an support. I would be lost with out them. So to have him behave like this with them kills me.
First, I have to say I think a big part of this behavior is because Michael is gone. Tru has acted out before but not like this. And when he saluted be like Benny Hill would salute and rolled his eyes as I was talking to him, I know I had lost all authority. Authority I need to get back in a flash.
Well Lala & Zaida gave me a GREAT piece of advise, and a punishment fitting the crime. I have to make it swift and hit him where it matters most, right in the MOTORCYCLE. He lost a pillow case full of them and I made him put them in the case himself. It took 15 minutes to get them all if that is any indication to you all on how many he has. There must be 30 in that bang pillow case. He did this so he was part of the punishment. He created the action, he will create the consequence.
He hated it and I have never seen a 4 year old kiss so much butt. He said "mom, can I have one last look?", "no problem" I said. I then tied the case closed and put it in a place he cant get to. He asked where they were and I said "never you mind, they are safe, I would never let anything happen to them."
Last night he seemed to handle it with easy because he thinks he is getting them back today probably. But he is wrong Not until I decide he is off the hook backed up by an OK from Lala and Zaida that they have seen consecutive days of improvement will he get them back.
I know he is testing the waters but the one thing I will not stand for above all is the bullying he did today. NO WAY NO HOW!
Now we are going to make a calender with a traveling motorcycle on it to show him that when he gets a good report me moves the motorcycle closer to the end date for getting them back. Screw up, the motor looses a day. I need for him to see his progress and reward him for his good behavior. And he needs to see that his new actions will get good consequences, this one complements of Jeanne.
If Nebraska was next door man, let me tell ya..... My mom always said " temper justice with mercy" so Truman will be fine. But today is the true test.
I think you are doing great! He is at the age where he is gonna test you (with or without Michael home). IF he was mean to another child, remember to have him make up. One of my kids was mean to another child (at about Truman's age). I asked my son to pick out his favorite rock (he had this special rock collection). I did not tell him why...once he spent about 20 minutes deciding which was his favorite, I drove him to the kids house and had him give the boy his rock. While my son cried about this, I asked, "How do you think your friend felt when you ripped up his special leaf?" At the end-of-the-day, my son was relieved that he was given a chance to really apologize. Also, you have a lot going on...don't overwhelm yourself with cute calendars. :) :)
ReplyDeleteHeather
One more thing....Make him tell Michael on the phone about his behavior. He needs to understand that even though Daddy is away, he still cares about what happens. Pre-warn Michael....have him scold him a little and then ask Truman to call him the next day to tell him how he did better. :)
ReplyDeletethis is it...I promise!
ReplyDeleteI think that he behavior shows how much he also loves and trusts his daycare providers. Kids usually don't go completely unglued unless they feel "safe." His behavior shows me that he loves these ladies and knows that, in the end, they will love him right back!